


Scream

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-09-27
Updated: 2008-09-27
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:46:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8825344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Silence is golden. I used to think that silence was golden.Very loosely based off the song 'Scream' by Chris Cornell.A look at Sam after he and Bobby buried Dean.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

**Scream**

 

_Silence is golden,_

_I used to think that silence was golden_

 

Sam swallowed, the bile in his throat burning as his Adam’s apple bobbed sporadically. Bobby had left over an hour ago, but Sam couldn't bring himself to leave Dean's grave.

 

The wind rustled through the trees, and Sam couldn't help but shiver at the eerie noise. He looked up, over the tops of the trees, somewhere the sun was rising, the light shooting through the leaves.

 

It was unbelievable. As many times as he and Dean had argued... As many times as they had told each other to go to hell... He never really thought...

 

'Shut up,' he told Dean countless times, and when his brother actually did? Oh, it was like heaven. 

 

But now? 

 

The silence was deafening. He couldn't escape it.

 

He swiped his palm across his cheeks, catching his tears. He cleared his throat, Dean would hate it if he cried, but he couldn't seem to stop.

 

He squinted up at the sun, sniffling. 

 

"I'm gonna get you back, Dean," he swore, "No matter what it takes, I'm going to get you back."

 

He walked away from the grave, every instinct begging him not to turn his back on his brother; but he had to. There was only one thing he could think of to do- Find Ruby.

 

_Silence is golden,_

_I used to think that silence was golden_

 

Even as he walked away, feet crunching twigs and grass, the silence was pounding in his head.

 

His own thoughts had to fight tooth and nail for him to realize that the thought had even occurred.

 

Christ, how he regretted ever telling Dean to shut up, how he regretted ever having left him and John, how he regretted every single moment that he hadn't shared with Dean, every moment that he should have been with his brother...

 

When he finally broke through the trees, he saw the car -Dean's beloved Impala- and couldn't help it; he collapsed against the side, clinging to the hood. He tried to fight it, but hysterical sobs ripped through him.

 

He cried so hard he was barely breathing, so hard that he gagged, vomiting next to the wheel and all the while he couldn't stop the tears.

 

His entire body shook with the force of his sobs, pain at every nerve ending.

 

He couldn't seem to stop, he just couldn't stop.

 

He couldn't even hear his ragged sobs, hear his gasping breaths, knew that they were there but he couldn't hear them.

 

Fuck, for every time he'd thought silence was golden when Dean listened and closed his trap? How wrong he was.

 

He'd give anything to hear his voice again, **anything**.

 

Sam collapsed on the ground, falling into the fetal position. He shook, almost to the point where it looked like he was having a seizer.

 

Eventually, when the sun was almost right above him, his body finally gave up on grieving through tears. 

 

Wrapping his arms around his knees, body curled on gravel, head next to a pile of vomit, he screwed his eyes shut and opened his mouth. He did the only thing he could think of.

 

He screamed.

 

Somehow, **that** he could hear.


End file.
